I'm really into asian looking animals
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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