dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize