Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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