wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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