Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
