hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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