well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
