I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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