Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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