"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
