U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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