it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
