That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
