I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
