mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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