I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
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