apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
