So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
