she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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