she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Randomize
