In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
