I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
PS: I just woke up from my shower
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize