she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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