we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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