dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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