The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
