the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
