i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
