i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
