why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
