We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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