Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
