Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
