I think I died a long time ago.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I think your dad took our porno
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
