Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
It's blow job season.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
