so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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