I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
