She said her name was "party"
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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