After last night, I could never be a politician.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I need to align my fucking chakras
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
