literally had 100 drinks last night.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
