Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize