Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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