dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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