he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
