I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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