What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
