I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I could fuck to npr.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
