Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
