Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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