i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
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