no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
