Well douche your snatch and let's go!
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize