Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
