nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
