the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
