So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
