You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
