am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Randomize
