I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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