thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
