finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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