Are we in a gay sports bar?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
