I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
